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Should I look back..

All that bothered me in the last few weeks of December of 2010, was that I had to post an article on this blog for the calendar year. But, eventually it ended up differently. I was troubled with the Why? questions, as if that was not enough I was troubled with the What? questions.. and to add to these I'm now caught with the Hows? and the Whens?
Excuse me, if i'm bothering u with all these question marks, I'll try to add some clarity to those.

Now let me address the Whys?
I have always found this particular question the most fascinating, confusing and scaring of all the questions. This one as the power to Question anything, it just changes the very rationale and reason behind any thought. Now the why I had to confront was, Why am not able to pick a passion of my liking and not nurture it duly for whatever gratification it can offer; be it material,social, intellectual, professional or spiritual... I have not been able to reach these elusive aspects and I want to know WHY???

Now coming to the Whats?
These are much easier to handle, provided they do not follow a Why, and also are not accompanied by a IF. While what tries to seek an answer, a what if tries to breed a doubt, potentially scary ones, the ones that can destroy the answers to Whys and make it impossible to conceive anyother thought of question or an answer. The What i met last year was.. What happens IF am unable to find any of the gratification that I mentioned above; What would be the perception of Me within Me and by the entities outside of me, that govern each of the above mentioned spheres.

Now coming to the Hows and Whens?
These are minions i must tell u if u can squash away the whys and whats, but as said In the company of the other to these are as scathing as the others. How do i get rid of the Whys and How do I back myself up in finding that passion? If at all I figure a way How then When do I really get to live that passion etc.. theses question did bother me a lot last year...
Not that i'm rid of these questions now... I don't think I'll ever be.. but I guess i've just known how to handle them... if not with the grace and panache expected by the society around, at least at a level that shall not disturb the soul within me..

Though the measure of Certainty is uncertain, every man and moment is certainly measured for the degree of uncertainty. My first set of uncertainties of 2011 are, Why should I look back into 2010? if i do then what should I look for.. And how do I fathom the questions and answers that it throws up..
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